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A friend told me recently of a trip he and his wife to Hawaii took several years back. After dropping his wife at the terminal for the flight home, he was the only person on the rental car shuttle. He recalled the shuttle driver’s words: “I think I need to go on vacation.” My friend laughed when he told me this. Where do you go on vacation when you live in Hawaii?

Having friends who used to live in Kauai, I know that wherever you live, life is never all bliss. In fact, one side of my house looks over a little cabin serving as a VRBO (Vacation Rental by Owner) year-round. And God seems to use it to tap me on the shoulder: Just a reminder. You live in a place where a lot of people go on vacation. 

Certainly seeing things from a Ugandan perspective–where I used to live–my life sets the bar high. As in, for maybe 99% of the world. Like C.S. Lewis wrote, What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.

Maybe that’s why so many of my Ugandan friends seem so happy. Harvard reports that gratitude is so closely linked to happiness they’re nearly indistinguishable; that in a study, writing a weekly thank-you letter to someone underappreciated boosted happiness more than any other factor.

Maybe happiness is all about training my eyes to…see.

But.

It’s good for me to remember this in the points of my life that weary me: waiting to hear back from publishers on my book proposal. As I wait to see if a teenager’s course will correct. As I stumble through days, hoping God will reveal why I am in this country and not in that one, but knowing he doesn’t have to. I think of my friend’s advice from his days caring for his wife as she slipped from his fingers with ALS: Thankfulness is an off-ramp from suffering.

As a mother, a wife, a woman—it’s all too easy for me to lose my gratitude for what is. It is too often lapped many times over by all that I want racing past; by what isn’t. In a kind of schlumpy season in my mind, my microscopic focus silently overlooks my Hawaii. If the eye is the lamp of the body, it’s possible mine has a dimmer switch.

My mind’s lens zooms past a rich generosity of God’s, scattered like love notes while my telephoto twists upon the one letter I wanted which has yet to arrive. Along the way, somewhere I bypassed my gratitude and joy for what is. Sometimes I even conclude, He loves me not. 

But who knows? Maybe someday I’ll look back and think, That was actually Hawaii, right there. I was living in it. Or at least, a whole lotta parts of Hawaii.

So much of my joy, I know, is training my eyes to see. 

The Ideas

With that in mind, here are 15 easy ideas toward happiness, via gratitude. Just pick a few–and then go big.

  1. Set a goal of how many people you’d like to thank today. Meet it.

  2. Before you get out of bed (!), thank God for 10 things. Mean it.

  3. Write a family member a quick index card or text, letting them know you’re grateful for them. Get specific.

  4. Wondering around the house or doing chores, sing a song of gratitude. (I mean it. Literally. Sing.)

  5. Send one thank-you note to someone who is underappreciated this week. Repeat for three more weeks.

  6. Keep a gratitude journal nearby as you work. Jot down one thing every hour.

  7. When someone praises you, return the praise back to God, “the giver of the gift, the blesser of the action, the aid of the project.” Make sure you thank any other people who pitched in.

  8. Thank God and the cook before you eat.

  9. Find at least one person in your community, your child’s school, or your workplace that is underappreciated, and thank them sincerely for their work.

  10. When you’re hitting a slump in your emotions or freaking out about something, take a quick thankfulness inventory. Get general and get specific.

  11. Cover a cupboard door, a window, a fridge door, etc. with sticky notes of things you’re thankful for.

  12. Take at least one action point from your thankfulness: I am so thankful to have great kids. I’m going to go snuggle. I love where I live. I’m going to open the windows. I am so thankful for good health. I’m going to go on a run. 

  13. Work toward becoming the most grateful version of yourself–not out of “I’m the best!” or to be #thatperson (!), but out of humility, understanding “What do you have that you did not receive?” (…It’s pretty hard to be a conceited, superior grateful person. Gratefulness is all about what you received, not how great you are, right?)

  14. Play a quick “thankfulness game” at the dinner table or in the car: What are you thankful for right now? What’s great about your life? (It’s like High/Low, only better.)

  15. When someone asks how you’re doing, answer truthfully. Then mention at least one thing you’re genuinely thankful for.

HELP US OUT. What do you do to maintain a grateful happiness?

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