THE AWKWARD MOM

because uncomfortable conversations are the ones worth having

Tag: guilt

Does the Idea of “Sin” Hurt Our Kids?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

sin kids harm

It was the kind of article that makes you mentally cover your face with your hands. And then, bite your nails with the grimace still on your face.

And her words still rattle me. (They should.) read more

Best Posts of 2018!

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Blogging can be a little too much like having an imaginary friend.

Picture sitting at the smallest table at your coffee shop. (I’m having a seasonal special with half of the pumps, decaf. …Because as someone told me, with natural enthusiasm like mine, I should remain uncaffeinated. You?) read more

Freebie Fridays: 11 Ideas for More Emotionally-whole and -healthy Parenting [INFOGRAPHIC]

Reading Time: < 1 minute

In keeping with my recent infatuation with infographics, today’s post is an attempt to visually portray the thoughts in this popular post, 11 Ideas for More Emotionally-whole and Healthy Parenting (which in turn can give you more complete ideas).

Print it FREE here! And if you like it, I’d love it if you shared it so more people can have access to these ideas.

Here’s to a more “wholehearted ” week at your house. read more

Freebie Friday: Shame-parenting vs. Guilt Exposure [INFOGRAPHIC]

Reading Time: < 1 minute

My most popular post for this blog hands-down has been Shame on You? On Shame-parenting vs. guilt exposure. It seems like all of us can resonate with the gripping force of shame in our lives–and the longing to give our kids something more.

Print this infographic here.

Like this post? You might like  read more

The Safe Place Series: Becoming a Friend Who Can Help, #1

Reading Time: 4 minutes

safe place emotionallyIt was after lunch. We stood on the curb before we walked out to our respective cars. She’d divulged some hard stuff, stuff that could easily be embarrassing outside of the little table we’d shared inside. I was about to step off the sidewalk—and then I thought what it might feel like to be her.

I think I said something really astounding, like, Hey. Thanks. For just, y’know, sharing hard stuff. That is always a gift to me. (My husband taught me that part. He says it’s always a holy gift when someone shares their heart with you.) I know you could be tempted to feel kind of naked after all this. But thanks for just trusting me to keep stuff like that safe. I’m going to be praying with you.

She looked me in the eye and said, “I hope I’m that place for you when you need it.”

Shame–and Your Marriage: On the Fear that Keeps Us Hiding (and Clawing Your Way Out)

Reading Time: 6 minutes

shame in your marriage The power of shame continues to make my mind fizz. (Yours might, too: This post on shame in parenting has drawn more readers than any other post on this site, bar none.)

But now all those thoughts are bubbling over what shame might look like in a marriage; in our most intimate concentric circle of community. See, I know shame—this idea that I’m not worthy of connecting with someone—immediately leads me to cover up.

Take the typical fight with a spouse. First reaction is not typically, You’re so right. I’m snippy, and I have a profound case of PMS. It’s more along the lines of blame-shifting (Well, if you’d stop overreacting like some kind of hypersensitive Pomeranian). Denying (I didn’t say you were arrogant! I said you were cocky). Hiding (If I don’t say anything, it will look a lot like peace and taking the higher road). read more

The Three Words Our Kids Critically Need to Hear

Reading Time: 3 minutes

It was a low moment in my parenting—so I’m still a little flabbergasted for the high point my then-four-year old made it.
I’d made a phone call to him as he stayed at his grandma’s for the day. I hated I even needed to make it. After shouting at him that morning, I’d done a fairly false, overall lame job of apologizing. I’d still been so stinkin’ angry—and my mind’s eye zoomed in on his own error. (That’s him at four years or so, on the right.) So I picked up my cell and attempted something more like Jesus.

What I will always remember was what he said in return.

“Mommy, I forgive you. And I want to let you know that even when you do bad things, I still love you. And I want you to know that even when you do bad things, God still loves you.” read more

Shame on you? Shame-parenting vs. guilt exposure

Reading Time: 4 minutes

what expectCompletely Pretty much hypothetical situation. Say one of your kids—well, one of my kids, anyway—teases a sibling to the point of tears. (I know. Whose kids would do that?!)

Let’s take a gander at a few of our parenting options, shall we?

a. “How could you do that to him/her? You are such a bully. Ugh. I am so disgusted with you.” read more

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