THE AWKWARD MOM

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Tag: discussion questions (page 1 of 2)

Should I let my kid quit? Questions to ask

Reading Time: 6 minutes

A couple of weeks ago, I was stuffing paper bags with sandwiches, flipping pancakes, signing permission slips, smelling breath to confirm teeth brushing, etc.–all your average morning chaos. That’s when my middle child told me he was quitting football.

Imagine the activity in my kitchen suddenly lurching to a halt. “What? Why?”

He had some good reasons. And a few not-great, 12-year-old ones. It was one of those weird parenting situations where you wish there was a highly detailed playbook. What to do when your kid wants to quit football and he’s been in it for a month and isn’t getting to play and… I told him to go to practice, and we’d talk about it on the weekend. read more

The Safe Place Series, #3: Practical Tips to Becoming a Person of Refuge

Reading Time: 4 minutes

The other night, one of my kids was at his finest. It was as if a switch had been flipped. He went from easy-going to stonewalling us, arms crossed, resolutely stubborn. And man, was I getting the stinkeye.

Though his attitude was not without consequences, God was kind to me. I think He reminded me that disproportionate reactions are a lot of times symptoms that something deeper’s being triggered. Thankfully, this tipped my husband and I off to dig and uncover the problem more than just slam down the symptom.

Because when you’re going through a hard time, life can feel a little…naked. So our emotional safety is directly tied to the degree of acceptance we sense from someone.

The Stressed Version of Your Marriage

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Missed Part I, Questions to Understand THE STRESSED VERSION OF YOURSELF? Grab it here.

One of the unexpected delights of our final couple of months in Africa was the arrival of a college friend who’s known my husband and I since the beginning. She watched us meet, cautiously date, giddily become engaged. She played the piano when the two of us spring chickens said “I do” forever. Later, I stood with her as she spoke her own vows beneath a spreading tree. And when she visited us in Africa and we stayed up entirely too late, she gave us this gift: I told my husband, “I love that she reminds us how good we are together. That you and I together are a really good thing.”

I wrote before that this time of leaving Africa, of setting a foot on two highly divergent continents, has delivered unavoidable stress to our relationship. Both of us are strained, so it makes sense that our most intimate relationships would bear that weight. So it was kind of God to remind us that despite the ways we occasionally feel like the losers in a three-legged-race right now—“us” is still a really good thing.

Part I of this post outlined some essential reasons we need to identify when we’re stressed. If you’re convinced, let’s get down to it. What are the signs your marriage is under stress?

Interview-your-Child Fridays: The Christmas Interview

Reading Time: 2 minutes

For ideas on how to make the most of these questions, see the first interview.

interview your child fridays

  1. In the Christmas story from the Bible, what character would it be the coolest to be?
  2. What’s one of your favorite activities to do around Christmas time?
  3. What’s one of your best Christmas memories? What did you love about that time?
  4. What is your all-time favorite Christmastime snack?
  5. What do you think the world would be like if God never sent Jesus?
  6. What do you think God would want for Christmas this year? Parents, this is a cool time to talk with kids about God wanting our hearts. My kids also repeatedly ask to use What God Wants for Christmas, a book with surprise gift boxes to open that tell the nativity story. You could use Micah 6:8 to guide you: He has shown you, O man, what is good and what the Lord requires of you: To do justly, to love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. Rather than just pushing “good behavior”, this is a chance to show that Jesus is the One who creates this in us!
  7. If you could have one Christmas wish, what would it be?
  8. What one gift would be the most meaningful to you this year?
  9. What’s one of the top gifts you’ve ever received for Christmas?
  10. What gifts has God given you this year?

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Ten Discussion Questions to Take Your Relationships Deeper in 2016—Set #6

Reading Time: < 1 minute

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New to these questions? See these notes first, along with Set #1 .

  1. Talk about a realization (or more than one) that changed your perspective and understanding of a past event. (i.e. I found out the parents of that bully in school were getting a divorce. I discovered I’d totally misunderstood my sister’s perspective, and she hadn’t been malicious at all.)
  2. When you get to heaven, what are some questions you hope to ask God?
  3. When is one time in life when you felt most alone?
  4. What’s one regret you have of your past? (Have you sought forgiveness from God and the people you affected?)
  5. What are some of your greatest strengths as a spouse?
  6. What is one of your greatest weaknesses as a spouse?
  7. What are some of your greatest strengths as a parent?
  8. What is one of your greatest weaknesses as a parent?
  9. What are your dreams for your kids?
  10. For what do you pray most often?

Like these? Consider subscribing to A Generous Grace and receive a FREE E-BOOK of Discussion Questions to Better Understand Your Family’s Subculture. They’re great to process with a friend, spouse, or small group. read more

Ten Discussion Questions to Take Your Relationships Deeper in 2016—Set #5

Reading Time: 2 minutes

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New to these questions? See these notes first, along with Set #1 .

  1. When you are looking back at your parenting, what is one thing do you suspect you’ll wish you did differently?
  2. What specific action makes you feel most loved? (i.e. If someone listens to me. If someone touches me. If someone asks me good questions and draws me out. For more ideas on this, see these posts on 20 practical ideas for each love language.)
  3. A previous question asked about one of the highest compliments you’ve ever received. Talk about meaningful things people have said to you (not necessarily compliments). (i.e. I felt validated when someone with whom I’d had a conflict for a long time came and apologized. Or, My dad said he was proud of the man I’d become.)
  4. If you could take a class or learn a skill, what would that class or skill be?
  5. What do you daydream about?
  6. A previous question mentioned what made you feel immediately connected or disconnected to a person. What qualities do you immediately find magnetic about a person—and what qualities are immediately off-putting?
  7. At what times in your life have you felt closest to God, or when do you feel closest to God now?
  8. When Jesus was tempted in the Bible (Matthew 4), he was tempted by three key lies. What lies about yourself or reality or God are you most likely to believe—in the “tapes” that play over and over in your head? (Talk together about God’s truth that would counter those lies, like Jesus did.)
  9. Talk about a realization (or more than one) that changed your perspective and understanding of your parents. (i.e. I had no idea my dad had experienced that. I was clueless to the pressures my mom was facing. I see now that my expectations were largely unrealistic.
  10. What are symptoms that tell you that you’re weary and/or not doing well? (i.e. I snap at my kids. When I wake up in the morning, my jaw is sore. I daydream about being alone and doing whatever I want.)

Like these? Consider subscribing to A Generous Grace and receive a FREE E-BOOK of Discussion Questions to Better Understand Your Family’s Subculture. They’re great to process with a friend, spouse, or small group. read more

Ten Discussion Questions to Take Your Relationships Deeper in 2016—Set #4

Reading Time: < 1 minute

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New to these questions? See these notes first, along with Set #1 .

1.       What times/circumstances can you remember that made you feel particularly loved by God, as an individual? read more

Ten Discussion Questions to Take Your Relationships Deeper in 2016—Set #3

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New to these questions? See these notes first, along with Set #1 .

1.       What was one of the hardest experiences you endured or overcame growing up? read more

FREE E-BOOK: Questions to better understand your family’s subculture

Reading Time: < 1 minute

At last, I’ve released a free ebook, Where Have I Come From, and Where am I Going?: Discussion Questions to Better Understand Your Family’s Subculture.  You can download it simply by subscribing to A Generous Grace, using the sign-up form in the upper right hand corner of the sidebar–or right here:

It’s my hope that this will offer practical ideas and insights as you seek to love well. read more

Ten Discussion Questions to Take Your Relationships Deeper in 2016—Set #2

Reading Time: < 1 minute

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New to these questions? See these notes first, along with Set #1.

  1. With a friend, I’ll be going through these excellent questions to help steward all of your life for God’s glory. Check ‘em out!
  2. If you could have a cup of coffee with yourself ___ weeks/months/years ago, what advice would you have given yourself?
  3. What are the “tapes” that play in your head—and who put them there? Which ones do you find truly motivating, and which do you have a sneaking suspicion have some lies mixed in?
  4. What job(s) could you do that wouldn’t feel like work?
  5. Eric Liddel is known for his acknowledgment that “When I run, I feel God’s pleasure.” In doing what do you feel God’s pleasure in you?
  6. How and when did you know what you wanted to do with your life—or are you there yet?
  7. As a child, what did you think that you would become? Why did that appeal to you, do you think?
  8. What weaknesses most frustrate you about yourself?
  9. For what are you most grateful about the way God made you?
  10. At the times when you are most worshipful, what are you usually doing?

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