THE AWKWARD MOM

because uncomfortable conversations are the ones worth having

Tag: boundaries

Fences, Sex, & Not-so-bad Boundaries

Reading Time: 3 minutes

invisible fences good boundaries

One of my favorite recent additions to our house: An invisible fence to keep our adorable, occasionally obnoxious puppy from

  • running after our local deer infestation.
  • pursuing other dogs and unsuspecting passersby.
  • getting another person’s dog knocked up in the future.
  • being flattened by a vehicle.
  • annoying or alarming the new guests at the VRBO next door. To be clear, he’s ten pounds, so not a huge threat, literally or metaphorically.
  • indulging his insatiable curiosity and appetite for exploration to the point he can’t find his way back.

In short, our fence protects charming, tuna-and-gym-socks-loving little Charlie from himself. read more

Did You Ask Me To? Then It’s Your Fault

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Well. I’d been waiting for a good illustration for this post. I didn’t really want it to come when I was sleeping (probably snoring?) last week at precisely 12:35 AM. That is when my husband, arriving home late, confirmed I was good to go on that meeting tomorrow at 8 AM, the one an hour away.

Yes. (I was mumbling. If I wake up too much, I know I won’t get back to sleep.) I have to drop off all the kids, and then..

Wait. Did you say 8? Wasn’t it 8:30? read more

Serving in Your Sweet Spot?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Read an interesting quote yesterday. So tell me: Do you agree or disagree?

The place where God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. (Frederick Buechner)

So at first glance, I’m like, Yes. Yes! Yes with a smiley-face-with-heart-eyes emoji! Especially when it comes to my kids (which you saw in Tuesday’s post on ideas for teaching kids the spiritual discipline of service). I want them to not just drag themselves through service, like our stick-shift doing 45 MPH in second gear. I long for them to find that burbling well inside of them: their part of the Body of Christ. read more

A Note for the Day You’re Feeling Powerless

Reading Time: 4 minutes

I woke up the other day feeling—well. Feeling needlessly angry. (It wasn’t the first time, lately.)

I drilled down a bit in my surly little soul. Anger, I recall, is secondary; it stems from something: disappointment, fear, hurt, sadness. For me, there were slices of sadness—but also a big hunk of fear. More specifically, I felt powerless.

As I was scrawling thoughts for this post, I felt rather sheepish for even labeling that. The reasons I feel powerless are nothing like some of you reading this, huddling (or scramming) when an abusive spouse comes home. Or perhaps you’ve got a boss who makes you feel about an inch high, or even threatened—but you’ve gotta pay the rent. Or maybe you’re a person of color, feeling terrified and estranged after the last election. Or you have a dark diagnosis and a couple of small kids.

Love Says No: How Boundaries Express True Care, Part II

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Missed the first post? Grab it here.

4. Boundaries esteem the image of God in me and the people I love. They say Hey, both of us were created in God’s image. So that means justice is pursued not just on your behalf, but mine, too. (Check out this post on burnout…and this one on martyrdom.) If I’m not to think more highly of myself than I ought, it means not only am I not lazy—it also means I’m forbidding an unhealthy perspective about how much I’m needed.

Love Says No: How Boundaries Express True Care, Part I

Reading Time: 4 minutes

I remember that summer vividly; pivotally. I was on my way into high school, and had finally wrapped my hormone-charged little brain around Jesus’ servanthood, His death to self. I remember leaning over my cafeteria tray, discussing with my camp counselor what that looked like. She looked alarmed, I think, over my fervor (I’m sure my husband can relate): But Jesus doesn’t want us to be doormats, she countered.

At the time, I just couldn’t see it. What did Jesus hold back? The concept of “boundaries” seemed a post-modern reflex against living radical and poured-out. I didn’t see a whole lot about boundaries in the Gospels.

God’s Leash

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Last Sunday afternoon, while on his bicycle, my eleven-year-old was hit by a motorcycle.

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While he was applying his brakes, sliding on rust-colored mud into the intersection, I was at home, deciding I would take a Sunday nap. I’d barely closed my eyes when one of my children called my name. This happens quite frequently, as one might imagine, and my husband has lightly chided me on contributing to our children’s entitlement with my jumpiness to their needs. So I waited to see if they’d come get me. I don’t remember what finally tipped me off that this was not the typical, “She won’t share the biiiike!” read more

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