THE AWKWARD MOM

because uncomfortable conversations are the ones worth having

Tag: Barbara Rainey (page 1 of 2)

Shame–and the Words You (& Everyone Else) are Dying to Hear

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Shame and Acceptance: What will We Zoom In On?It’s an interesting dynamic for an Americans traveling to Asia or Africa when we first encounter the shame/honor thing in cultures. To my naked eye, it’s sometimes looked like them not telling the truth.

I’m probably going to botch this story–but I think of my sister and her husband in Asia looking for a pair of shoes. The shopkeeper says, Of course we have your size! but comes out repeatedly with pairs too small…and then actually hides. (Yes. Literally.)

But is there an element of truth to graciously covering someone’s weakness? What if they…don’t have what we want?

Guest Post: For When You’re Tired of Driving All the Good Stuff

Reading Time: 2 minutes

driving all the good stuff pushDo you ever get tired of being the driver in your home? Y’know–driving the homework. The dishes from their hands to the dishwasher. The manners and respect. The time with God. The self-control in conflicts. The propriety in dating.

I need to admit: I get tired of the lack of my kids’ ownership in the values my husband and I care about–whether it’s peace, or order, or worship, or personal responsibility. And as my kids get older, in some ways, my control diminishes.

Guest Post: Taming the Chaos in Your Home

Reading Time: 2 minutes

There are moments in my home that can only be tidily described as chaos.

Last night, as my two youngest were building a fort in the bedroom, I heard some concerning-sounding thuds: “That was the bathroom mirror, Mom! ” (Oh. I think that’s supposed to make me feel better?) There was also the repetitive, distinctive bleat of a kazoo, which I could have sworn I’d already thrown away. At least there was a lot of giggling, wrestling, and role-playing complete with foreign accents. (This time, at least, it was a good chaos.)

I thought of this today as I was thinking of the first time we actually hear of the Holy Spirit in Scripture: The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. read more

Guest post: Where’s the Holy Spirit When My Marriage is Hard?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

It was late, and she was crying now. Her marriage had been hard–hard for a long time.

I think it was there that I really saw Him, though He’d been there the whole time. Sometimes the Holy Spirit is a little like an I Spy book to me. Knowing what He looks like, I’m learning to spot Him among the clutter of circumstances, ones He’s meticulously arranged.

I want to tell you what He looked like, there in that dimly-lit room, where she was just so tired of waiting for God to change things. Even there, in her road-weary face that longed for a break in being “tough” and “strong”–I saw Him making beautiful things out of dust, as the song goes. read more

Guest post: A Prayer for Your Community–Every Day of the Week

Reading Time: < 1 minute

It’s probably good that you can’t see my house this week. I actually said to a visiting friend yesterday, Mi chaos es su chaos. 

We’re moving out on Tuesday. As in, to very soon leave this stunning continent.

It’s some of why I’ve been exploring lately–in posts like this one on living “sent, like missionaries who stay, and this one on having an “open house”–what it looks like to live as people set on fire in and for our communities.  And after the heart-rending events in Manchester this week, we’re reminded again of the gaping need and pain in our communities. (In us, too.) read more

Guest Post: A Fast for Your House: The Surprising Treasures of Simplicity

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I always learn something from my friend Monica.

She learned to read and write in the last decade or so, when she moved to Kampala from her village in northern Uganda. But despite my college education, she has a lot to teach me.

When I visited her shared compound on Saturday, she couldn’t wait to show me inside her house. I had to comply looking into the toothy ivory grin parting that smooth, ebony face. And when I entered, I understood why.

Spiritual Disciplines for Real Families: Fun Ways to Study God’s Word (with FREE printables)

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Missed the other posts in this series? Check out these on Prayer, Meditation and Contemplation, Simplicity, Solitude, Service, and Fasting.

Okay, so if it’s not obvious—problem numero uno may be getting our kids to study anything, right?

Maybe. read more

Guest post: God of My Heartbreak: Teaching Teens to Pray

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Of the many nuggets I’ve gleaned from my father-in-law, perhaps one I am most grateful for is his response to my husband’s teen years.

A lot of people find merit in Mark Twain’s quip: When a boy turns 13, put him in a barrel and feed him through a knot hole. When he turns 16, plug up the hole.

But my father-in-law wasn’t one of them. Those tornadic years of my not-yet-husband’s were a signal to pull out the outdoor gear, summit as many of Colorado’s fourteeners as they could knock out, and tack on some decent kayaking, cycling, and snow caving along the way. My father-in-law saw the rippling strength of the teen years as a chance to explore manhood together. read more

Guest post: 30 Activities for Kids in March

Reading Time: < 1 minute

Has your family started the spring break countdown? We want to make our time with kids intentional. But where to start? Over on EverThineHome.com, I’ve got 30 ideas to try this month. Hop on over and check ’em out!

Happy almost-Spring! (And BTW–if you like this, you might love the Relationships page, full of tons of ideas.)

Guest post: 9 Ways to Pray for Your Marriage in Tough Times

Reading Time: < 1 minute

It’s been one of the most pressing seasons for our marriage.

We’ve been navigating a crux of major life decisions—only one of which included the continent we’d be living on. And our marriage that has been characterized by fairly fluid teamwork can at times be pulled taut by our diverging passions, longings, and reasoning.

“Stressed” doesn’t begin to cover it. read more

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