A Generous Grace

ideas on practical spirituality and loving each other

Category: enduring love (page 1 of 8)

10 Easy-peasy, Promise-You-Can-Do-This Dates at Home (Just in Time for Valentine’s Day for All You Procrastinators!)

The finish line is in sight: The kids are headed to bed. Did I mention your knuckles are grazing the ground?

Aren’t you feeling creative? Romantic? Well. If I was thinking about something other than settling in for some Netflix–yes, romance sounds nice. Creativity sounds, um, exhausting. 

So let’s make it easy. Super-doable. (Hey,  this as much for me as for you.) Let’s stoke the fires of romance with the little energy you’ve got left.

Continue reading

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)

52 Fun, Easy Ways to Flirt with Your Spouse

  1. Text something sweet, sexy, thankful, or playful: Thanks for all you do to get us all out the door in the morning. You still take my breath away.
  2. Check your spouse’s calendar, and then kidnap her from work for a quick lunch or an afternoon romantic matinee.
  3. Bring his favorite coffee shop treat home.
  4. Leave a steamy voicemail.
  5. Load the dishwasher for her. (Trust me. It works.)
  6. Invite him to take a shower with you.
  7. Get a little “handsy” in the kitchen.
  8. Lay your head on his chest or tuck beneath his arm while you watch your Netflix fave.
  9. Compliment her in front of a friend.
  10. Pick up her favorite snack at the grocery store.
  11. Grab her hand while riding in the car.
  12. Encourage him about something he did well at work.
  13. Wrestle.
  14. Borrow the kids’ Nerf weapons.
  15. Encourage your kids to thank her for something she’s done for them.
  16. Write him a love note.
  17. Make her a homemade card.
  18. Give him a massage.
  19. Write her a sappy (or funny) poem.
  20. Read her a love poem. (Ideas here.)
  21. Rub her feet.
  22. Make him a compilation CD of songs that express your heart and relationship.
  23. Give her a scalp massage.
  24. Take a bath together.
  25. Buy her flowers.
  26. Kiss at every stoplight.
  27. Ask to hold her hand.
  28. Play with your kids together.
  29. Light candles.
  30. Wear perfume and pretty underthings.
  31. Speak her love language (free “cheat sheet” here).
  32. Clean up your bedroom.
  33. Take care of that one thing that’s been weighing on him.
  34. Make up a goofy song about her on the fly.
  35. Overlook something he did that was stupid.
  36. Call her to tell her something about your day.
  37. Advocate for her.
  38. Plan a date in.
  39. Remember one of your favorite lovemaking memories, and whisper it in his ear.
  40. Go on a walk.
  41. Paint her toenails.
  42. Thank him for something unexpected.
  43. Listen to her. Ask good questions. (Ideas here.)
  44. Initiate fun sex.
  45. Tell her about a memory you love from when you were dating.
  46. Pick up a bag of her favorite candy.
  47. Play a little jazz while you cook together. Grab her hand and dance for a moment.
  48. Develop a code for talking when the kids are in the room about possible lovemaking.
  49. Come to bed naked.
  50. Go stargazing.
  51. Pick up a small gift that will delight and surprise.
  52. Pray together.

Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.

The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.

Henry Ward Beecher

I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.

Song of Solomon 7:10

Give us your ideas in the comment section! How do you flirt with your spouse?

Like this post? You might like

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)

An Open Letter: When You’re Tired of Doing the Right Thing

faithfulness tired of doing the right thing
Hey.

I was there just this past Saturday, too. Felt like it had been a year of keeping my head down, doing the right thing with a hopeful smile. Or maybe some tears. I’ve mentioned this last year my struggles with feeling powerless; with the tension of not living some dreams.

I may have even scrawled the phrase tired of a “Yes, sir” life in my journal this past weekend.

Continue reading

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)

A Christmas Question: What are You Waiting For?

It’s an interesting question. Maybe I could add it to the list of questions to deepen your relationships. Because it’s applicable to pretty much every homo sapien on the planet.

 

What’s one thing you are waiting for?

 

It tells you something about a person, I think. What they hope for; long for. Waiting bubbles with questions, simmers with desire.

 

You’d find answers anywhere from Christmas break to this deployment to be over. Or maybe test results.

A baby.

Him to propose.

Finally getting out of this checkout line so I can get off my feet, which are about to fall off.

Continue reading

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)

Christian, Married–and Attracted Elsewhere

Hey.

Thanks for being open with me.

Over your latte, I saw the concern in your eyes. I know this isn’t who you want to be; that you’re afraid of your own heart. But I know longing runs deep.

If only “I do” meant our eyes–or especially our spouse’s eyes, right?–never swiveled from our mate’s. But reality is, though marriage helps keep our attraction in one place, it doesn’t flip that switch for us.

Continue reading

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)

Sweet Self-pity: On Burying Martyrdom

It was on my birthday that I was finally convicted: Something needed to change.

So my birthday falls on a holiday. As much fun as that sounds to people under the age of twelve–it can mean celebration is an afterthought in a blizzard of school activities and family hoopla. Somehow, as an adult, that translates into a level of embarrassment: wishing for a slice of that pie on a day already blurred with excitement.

So that morning, we added to our run-of-the-mill morning chaos all the other to-do’s we were cramming into our schedule. That’s on top of what you probably face in your own morning: the compulsory sibling squabble, at least one bad attitude (with six of us, including one hormonal cycle and one teenager, odds are always good), one miscommunique, one child leaving early for choir practice. Despite the tender well-wishes of my kids and husband, when the door closed on a silent house and sinkful of dirty dishes, I confess to thinking, I hate my birthday. I hated a somewhat unreasonable desire expectation for more.

Continue reading

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)

“It’s not your problem. It’s ours”: Engaging in our communities’ most personal struggles

Allow me to tell you the story of a friend of mine, because her story’s stuck with me. I’ll call her Susan.

Susan has a couple of daughters. They’re grown now–but back in the day, she was ready to pull them out of their public school and opt for private: Their public school was performing among the lowest 20% in the UK. But it’s her take on this that struck me:

I realized most the kids from our church remaining there didn’t have a place to go or the means to get out. They were stuck there. And it didn’t seem like ‘being the church’ if I pulled out and left them to flounder.

So we pulled together a bunch of people and started praying. And some of us got on the [school board], and I eventually became the [chair].

Together, they considered their school problem a community problem, and therefore a Church problem.

An unexpected, happy ending God tacked on? Susan’s daughter ended up with stellar test scores on all her IGCSE’s–British university entrance exams (6 A-stars, if you’re familiar with their system)…better, in fact, than some friends removed to private schools.

Allow me to clarify: The point of this post is not “you should put your kids in public school”. As a former homeschooling mom of eight years, know that I understand the heart behind all sorts of school decisions.

But I am saying this–an echo of another friend who’s both school board president and pastor’s wife. If our greatest strengths are some of our greatest weaknesses, our focus on our own families and what’s best for them can at times divert us from a beating heart for our communities.

Continue reading

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)

A Symphony around My Chopsticks: Thoughts on Everyday Faithfulness

symphony alongside my chopsticks everyday faithfulness

My house is (blissfully) quiet now. I sit at my clean wooden table. My stomach is comfortably satisfied. My kids are actually adjusting remarkably well to school life—something I couldn’t have anticipated after five years homeschooling them in Africa. (Adjusting so well, in fact, that after their dental appointments last week, the younger two begged me to return to the last hour of school. Um…okay!) My new job as a freelance writer—after a few weeks of what might be called panic—is actually a delight. And my husband is happy, which is just a good gift all around. We are all healing mpola mpola (slowly by slowly).

This is to say: I have a lot I am thankful for. Many of you have asked about our transition, probably because my heart has seeped out a bit into cyberspace. I would not be telling the truth to say something other than—wow. This has all gone much more smoothly than I thought possible. (Thank you, friends, for praying. He hears.)

I noticed in myself this weekend—I guess you could call it a longing. As a friend pointed out, I’ve lost a couple of my jobs in the last year. And I think the slight gap I feel, where the wind whistles through, could be called purpose. Occasionally I see flashes of it, like light on water. But a little part of me is still puzzled. It whispers, see–when I’m not flying around with school lunches and permission slips and work deadlines. Why am I here? (And maybe, Why am I not there?)

Continue reading

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)

The Safe Place Series, #3: Practical Tips to Becoming a Person of Refuge

The other night, one of my kids was at his finest. It was as if a switch had been flipped. He went from easy-going to stonewalling us, arms crossed, resolutely stubborn. And man, was I getting the stinkeye.

Though his attitude was not without consequences, God was kind to me. I think He reminded me that disproportionate reactions are a lot of times symptoms that something deeper’s being triggered. Thankfully, this tipped my husband and I off to dig and uncover the problem more than just slam down the symptom.

Because when you’re going through a hard time, life can feel a little…naked. So our emotional safety is directly tied to the degree of acceptance we sense from someone.

Continue reading

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)

Friday Quotables #6: A Terrible Force

Dostoyevsky humility humble love terrible force Karamazov

At some thoughts one stands perplexed, above all at the sight of human sin, and wonders whether to combat it by force or by humble love. Always decide “I will combat it by humble love.” If you resolve on that once and for all, you can conquer the whole world. Loving humiity is a terrible force; it is the strongest of all things, and there is nothing like it.

-Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

Like this post? You might like

If you like it, please share it! (And consider subscribing up there in the right hand corner.)
Older posts

© 2018 A Generous Grace

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑