A Generous Grace

ideas on practical spirituality and loving each other

Love is the new sexy

love is the new sexy
I was brushing my teeth that night in my PJ’s, mulling over the day, when I had one of those moments–y’know, where God just tugs my chin upward a bit, lets me peek in a bit to what’s solid: to what He’s really doing in all these mundane days that slip by, another X on the calendar.

I walked to the bed, sat down next to my husband, suddenly overcome. It was late; we’d just had a struggling friend over, and my husband had spent hours in conversation seeking out practical solutions with her.

I recalled how my day had begun. A close Ugandan friend had lost a family member in the night—one of three family members he’d paid for to go to the hospital this week. I spotted him the loan for transportation to his village, for the goat he was expected by tradition to provide. But it was my husband later who texted him, telling him it wasn’t a loan, but a gift.

My husband went to work, faithful to his role in management. He came home and loved on his kids, tickling my son before all of us sat down to dinner with our guest. As I type this post, he’s at a friend’s house who was robbed just a few hours ago. (I guess you could say it’s shaping up to be a rough week.)

As I sat there on the bed next to him, I remembered the kind of guy I thought I would marry: leader in the Christian community, exuberant and even prominent. As I’ve blogged before, fifteen years later, I’m increasingly thankful God didn’t succumb to my rather arrogant vision of a Christian power couple. My husband is decidedly un-flashy. Even as a missionary, it’s hard to make “human resources” or “management” sound sexy; good managers and infrastructure and internal “shepherds” are the kind of thing it’s hard to appreciate fully until it’s not there.

But you know—there is something deeply good, even awe-inspiring, and yes, downright appealing about a man who is simply faithful. About a guy who, despite the showy opportunities he turns down so he can do an excellent job on the everyday ones that matter most (because of it, actually) simply lives in a way that honors God. He’s not often Mr. Romance; he just loves well. He’s not preaching every Sunday; he just spends time with God consistently, and shows his kids how, too. I guess you could say he does a kind of quiet leadership with his life.

Considering Jesus was quite literally born in a barn, I would say God has a flare for sidling the heroic up alongside the mundane.

Yesterday, my husband went to work to serve people well, loved his family, loved his friends, and bought a man in poverty a goat. Not a bad day at all. I told him that. I may have been a little misty over the whole thing, because you know what? Dang, I have it good.

I love how Melissa, in her excellent post, Do You Really Have a Good Man? puts it:

Men are human beings, just like women are human beings. But, we have let silly movies and fantasies lead us to believe that the REALLY good men are different. That they spend their entire day dreaming up ways to pamper us. We fool ourselves into thinking that the really good men leave love notes and wash dishes and plan elaborate trips and show up with diamonds they can’t afford….

You want to know if you have a REALLY good man? Here’s a test for you. Does he love God? Does he love you? Does he work hard? Does he come home? Does he love your children? If so, then you’ve got a good one.

…. The really good men deserve better than our constant criticism and dissatisfaction. The grass isn’t greener in chick flick land. It’s astroturf. Stick to your own yard, where your really good man is probably mowing. That’s true romance.

So here’s to the men who spend their days doing what isn’t decidedly sexy, but spend it loving God and people instead.


TELL US: What do you love that your ordinary guy does?


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1 Comment

  1. I was just teasing Aaron yesterday about how romantic he isn’t. But man, I love him. He is an amazing guys, who is always stepping up to the plate when I feel like things are crumbling. He is working hard at work, to come home and work hard at home. He is such an amazing blessing to me even though flowers and chocolate aren’t the things he remembers to do – he keeps the cars in good working order so as much as he can we won’t be stranded. He will switch over the laundry or do a load of dishes when my hands are just too full, and he is quick to play with the kids and sit and just talk to me. He is a wonderful guy.

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