THE AWKWARD MOM

because uncomfortable conversations are the ones worth having

Month: November 2015

Don’t waste the waiting

Reading Time: 4 minutes

It was two years ago that our family received unsettling news that began an extended holding pattern for us, news which wouldn't be resolved for another eleven months. That period of gray, unsettled twilight will stand out in my life as one where I became well-acquainted--more than I would have wished, for sure--with the chisel of God that is waiting.

Thanksgiving memos from a bunch of refugees

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Author’s note: This post is not at all intended to be a political statement regarding the recent controversy over refugees (see this article for a Christian point of view on the tension between security and compassion). It’s simply a memo to myself as I look at Thanksgiving this year, in light of what I’ve learned from the crazy-fun group of refugees I teach on a weekly basis here in Uganda.

Sometimes I’m as much a student of them as they are of me, as they sprawl in their chairs there in the sticky heat or the lazy afternoon sun.

refugees 1Sometimes when they stand next to me, I have nothing to do but laugh out loud at the picture we must make: me with my German build and American clothing, my skin that best stay out of the sun after fifteen minutes, sky-colored eyes—and them, some even built like ebony marionettes, towering above me at six feet-two or –four, their toothy ivory grins and an arm around my shoulder, their tribal language to a friend resounding like African drums.

How we’re gaining control of screen time, step by step (free printable!)

Reading Time: 5 minutes

screen time

New edit since original posting: Screen time is constantly training our kid’s brains toward shorter attention spans. Since my original post here, I’ve learned that the American Association of Pediatrics, as well as British authorities, have advised no more than two hours of screen time per day. More than that has shown connections to anxiety and depression in kids–and cannot be compensated for with physical activity. 

My family might call me a screen time snob. And…I might agree with them. You’ve already heard how I feel about my iPhone. read more

9 Simple, uber-practical ways to express gratitude this month

Reading Time: 3 minutes
9 Ways to Express Gratitude This Month!
  1. At dinner each night of November, see if your family can collectively think of 10 more things you’re thankful for. Keep a running list—and consider making it into a creative decoration for Thanksgiving Day: A vase filled with your list written on slips of paper, or written artfully onto craft paper that covers the table—complete with Sharpies or crayons prompting guests to add their own.
I am thankful for... craft paper table cover

A Heartfelt Theology of Dreams

Reading Time: 4 minutes

heartfelt dreams

I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately, dreams.

Since I’ve already confessed that I’m a feeler, I’ll tell you that a lot of feelings and thoughts swirl around them too: Hope. Confusion. Anxiety. Zeal. Guilt. read more

For the Days When Helping Hurts [You], Part II: When Helping Breaks Your Heart

Reading Time: 4 minutes

helping hurts

Missed part I? Get it here.

I knew last week was going to be killer. read more

A Slice of Beauty, a Slice of Thanks-living

Reading Time: 2 minutes

beauty thanksliving

“Mom! It’s the one with the crossed bill!”

I ducked my head at his urgent whisper, peering out the glass. Sure enough—an Openbill Stork. Three feet in height and layered in glossy black, this one seemed shiny enough that it might have just glided in from Murchison Bay, a handful of kilometers from our home. Weeks before, my son and I had sat quietly together, watching the same variety of stork leverage that gapped bill upon of the fist-sized snails that creep somberly across our yard. read more

28 Signs I Might Be Living Overseas

Reading Time: 2 minutes

1.  I set a goal for myself while jogging: If I can only make it to that goat.

  1. Everyone speaks more languages than I do.
  2. I have partaken of creatures I would normally not consume by choice, e.g. fish eyes, grasshoppers, and the like.
  3. People dispose of trash by simply throwing it out the window.
  4. A healthy percentage of my most delightful friends were born a hemisphere away from where I was.
  5. I avoid unfiltered water like the Plague. Because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the Plague in there.
  6. My pothole-per-mile ratio exceeds 136:1.
  7. The concept of “home” feels bewildering.
  8. I answer to a wide variety of names that sound entirely different than the one I’ve answered to for the majority of my adult life.
  9. Fruit and other materials labeled “exotic” in my home country are available at that little wooden stand down the street.
  10. My children asked for a raise in their allowance based on the increasing value of the dollar.
  11. My electrical company is perpetually listed in my phone’s recent contacts.
  12. Sometimes home feels like camping.
  13. Despite the lack of familiarity, there is something about the place I live that makes I feel so…alive.
  14. I adopt an accent when speaking, say, at the supermarket.
  15. My suitcase is filled with odd items, like 6 of the same deodorant, 18 months of underwear for six people, eight pounds of chocolate chips, and 12 jars of B vitamins. My carry-on is where I stash the Hot Tamales and six packs of Slim Jims.
  16. People attempt to compliment me by calling me “fat”, or in regards to my status, a “big woman.” …Yeah. Thanks.
  17. Ants in my home don’t even capture my attention anymore unless in vast quantities or floating in my drink.
  18. The last trip to the States found me saying, “What in the world is ‘Apple TV’?”
  19. I are content with my “dumb” phone, because pretty much everyone else has one, and if it falls in the toilet (or pit latrine) I can afford to replace it.
  20. Cops stop me because I are more likely to be a source of cash.
  21. “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” gets me all sniffy.
  22. My bed is shrouded in netting, but somehow my arms and legs still have telltale welts of those little (literal) suckers.
  23. I keep toilet paper in my glove box. Because public toilets, when I can find them, are BYO TP.
  24. I give up asking for decaffeinated coffee, because people don’t really know what that is (or why you would drink it), nor do they have it.
  25. I can pronounce all of the ingredients in my food.
  26. I am feeling a whole lot more deft with the metric system lately.
  27. My employer contemplates sending out regular deworming reminders via e-mail.

Tweens, teens, control–and having my kid’s heart

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Man, it was a tweeny sort of day. And I remembered: This isn’t just about control. It’s about relationship.

Guest post: The Hole Truth: Peer Pressure, Sex, and the Connection to Our Kids’ Identity

Reading Time: < 1 minute

Howdy! I’m guest posting again on WeareTHATFamily.com again about The Hole Truth: Peer Pressure, Sex, and the Connection to Our Kids’ Identity. Hop on over if you’re interested!

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