A Generous Grace

ideas on practical spirituality and loving each other

Month: August 2015 (page 1 of 2)

Now you’re speaking my [love] language: 20 ideas to show love through words of affirmation

love languages text

If you’re new to the love languages concept, check out the 5 Love Languages website. And here’s their post on The Power of Affirming Words.

  1. Scrawl a note on a napkin in their lunch: Praying for you today. So proud of you.
  2. Use a dry erase marker on the mirror, or on glazed wall tiles: You rock my world. Thanks for being you.
  3. “I respect you so much for your ability to __.”
  4. Send a text after the big day, meeting, presentation, or test, checking up on how it went and reminding them you were praying. (Set a reminder on your phone or computer if you need help remembering!)
  5. “Even on days when you’re ___, I’m so glad you’re mine.”
  6. “Am I making you feel understood?”
  7. Leave sticky note on their steering wheel or in their backpack. Just to let you know that I love you.
  8. “Your _[personality trait]_ is so just what our family needs.”
  9. Send a love note or, for a child, a letter through the mail, just letting them know what you appreciate about them. Be descriptive and sincere.
  10. Get specific: “You do ___ really well.”
  11. “Tell me more about what that was/is like for you.”
  12. On small strips of paper, write or type things you love about them and great memories you have. Wrap them around individual candies of his or her favorite kind!
  13. “When you did ___ for me, it made my day go so much easier/made my day. Thanks for doing that!”
  14. Remember: Go for quality of words more than quantity. Communicate that when you affirm them, your words aren’t inflated; they’re trustworthy.
  15. “Looking at circumstances, I’m getting the idea that you might not be feeling very ___ lately. Wanted to let you know that I see so much _[character quality]_ in you, and at the risk of sounding corny–I’m proud of you.”
  16. “You make me so happy just by being you.”
  17. Send an e-mail or Facebook message: Just wanted to let you know that I’ve seen the way you’re trying so hard to ___. I love it, and I love you.
  18. “Got a minute to tell me how you’ve been–really? I’d love to get the inside story on what you’ve been thinking about and going through.”
  19. “I respect you so much for the way you ___.”
  20. “I realize you and I haven’t been completely on the same page recently. Just wanted to let you know I’d never trade the privilege of being your[mom/dad/husband/wife]. And I’m totally committed to working on our relationship so we can understand and enjoy each other.”

What has someone said to you that made your day–or changed you?

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Guest post: [Talking about] Sex begins in the Kitchen

It was a painful conversation with a dear friend that brought stunning clarity to the necessity of the conversations we have with our kids.

…Or the potential consequences if we don’t.

I’m contributing on WeareTHATfamily.com again today: [Talking about] Sex begins in the Kitchen. Hop on over and check it out!

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12 Ideas to Bring Back that Lovin’ Feeling, Part II

lovin feeling textMissed Part I? Get it here.

6. Own up. Paul himself notes in 1 Corinthians that though his conscience is clear, that doesn’t make him innocent. You’ve heard the 1% rule: Even if you’re only responsible for 1% of a conflict, you’re still 100% responsible for your 1%.Take time to pray through what you’re contributing to the rift. What’s the “log” in your eye? Are you forgiving your spouse, or developing even a hint of bitterness and resentment? Are you oversensitive, critical, or even apathetic? We always underestimate the impact our junk has on other people. Consider the pleading of Psalm 139:23-24: Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

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12 Ideas to Bring Back that Lovin’ Feeling, Part I

lovin feeling textMarriage is a form of faith—even more in God than in your spouse.

And as C.S. Lewis has written, Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods.

All of us encounter those days where we’re thinking, if he throws his socks beside the hamper one more time, I am going to tell him exactly where he should put them. Or, Honey, I get hormones. But does PMS really last all month?

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Holes: And why you should know yours (or your kid’s)

holes textShe’s cute, sitting across the table from me in her pink “I LOVE TO DANCE” tee with curls poking out from under that faux-raccoon hat. But then again, being cute has never been her problem. It’s what’s behind that smile with those eight-year-old Chiclet-sized teeth that’s been giving me a run for my money.

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Discussion Questions to Better Understand Your Family’s Subculture, #107-118

questions to understand subculture

If you’re new to this series, click here for the thoughts and guidelines behind it! 

Coming soon: A FREE E-BOOK of these discussion questions for subscribers/followers. (Thanks, followers! I appreciate you!) Stay tuned.

107. How was your family viewed by your community?

108. What secrets about your family did you uncover later in life?

109. What were/are the expectations of children and their behavior, both spoken and unspoken?

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All hot and bothered: On shielding our kids from disappointment

disappointmentIt’s a startling post from The Atlantic; a dismaying one. The authors write on the increasing hypersensitivity of college students, or “The Coddling of the American Mind”: “In the name of emotional well-being, college students are increasingly demanding protection from words and ideas they don’t like.”

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Two of the most important words you’ll ever say

im sorry textI yelled at my kids tonight.

It started before the mouthwash spilled all over the floor, my jeans, and my new shirt. Which was before my son attempted to use the now-cracked mouthwash cap and promptly dripped the red liquid all over the just-reassembled shelf and all its little contents.

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Guest posting today: 12 Ways to Stay Close When the Going Gets Rough

It was about a year and a half ago when circumstances colliding around my husband and I found us ducking for cover.

But thankfully, by the grace of God and with a lot of intentional effort, ducking together. Somehow, after it all blew over, we were more “married” than ever before.

Today, I’m posting again at Marriage Revolution, this time on 12 Ways to Stay Close When the Going Gets Rough. 

I’d love to hear your ideas in the comment section on this, especially from you long-time married couples!

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Discussion Questions to Better Understand Your Family’s Subculture, #95-106

questions to understand subcultureIf you’re new to this series, click here for the thoughts and guidelines behind it! 

Coming soon: A FREE E-BOOK of these discussion questions for subscribers/followers. (Thanks, followers! I appreciate you!) Stay tuned.

95. What are your father’s greatest strengths?

96. What are your mother’s greatest strengths?

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